Memory lane

We slept in this morning. (There's a showing at our house late this afternoon, so there's no point in getting home before that.) When we were slowly waking up, I felt the sharp edge of Lilly's first tooth that's poked its way through - I'm sure that didn't help her mood the last few days!
Shawn wanted to see my old neighborhood, so I took him on a tour of O'Fallon. We saw:

• 305 Nancy Dr. - had a new front door & mailbox, a baby swing in the backyard magnolia tree, a small in-ground swimming pool where our vegetable garden was, a small pergola with a fan(??), and a basketball hoop over my old parking space. The porch that Dad helped build still looked great. The grape vine still creeps along the fence. I didn't recognize a Willow-type tree in the area where the honeysuckle grew. It was already a pretty mature yard when we lived there, so it was hard to tell if there were any other landscape changes. Shawn said, "That looks like a very lovely home, Mom!" I thought so too. 
• There's a new park on Nancy Dr. on the way towards Amy Dr. It had a playground, picnic area, and walking paths. It looked really nice. (I think it was farm land before.) 334 Amy Dr. - I drove right passed the street! The trees are enormous, so I didn't recognize which street was ours! The twig in our front yard is a full grown tree and the yews, which were individual bushes around the front of the house, have practically grown into a hedge. There's also a fence around the backyard. The most startling was the maturity of the trees and plants throughout the neighborhood. I guess that's what happens after 20+ years! 
•  Laverna Evans Elementary School looked pretty unchanged from the outside, other than new playground equipment. 
• Marie Schaefer is no longer a junior high, but the building looked pretty much the same. It also had a playground built, which wasn't needed when it was for 7-8th graders. 
• O'Fallon Township High School - Oh. My. It's a monstrosity! The Panther Dome has taken over a large portion of the parking that was in front of the building. It housed a bronze statue of a panther in its front windows. GEESH! There's a new entrance, which is close to the original front, but... Bigger. The side of the building that used to house a courtyard, the library, and foreign language classes is completely filled in and almost reaches the street. The circle driveway by the band and chorus rooms and the girls' gym is now a very tiny parking lot, and the circle driveway is now swallowed by the building. I remember the area around the library and foreign language rooms and some construction by the circle drive, but I'm pretty sure they've done even more in those areas since I graduated. 
• O'Fallon Community Park - We drove around the park where my cross country team used to practice. I had forgotten how big it was! Shawn was impressed when I told him I used to go running all around the park and we used to have races there. He liked it even more when I told him there were two carnivals a year there, too. 
•  Ice Cream Haven - I was relieved to see that it looked EXACTLY the same as it did 20+ years ago - down to the picnic tables out front and the ice cream posters in the windows! Shawn's heard stories about Pierce walking with us to the outdoor ice cream shop. He thought it was funny that our dog would be treated with broken cones and even got a few licks of vanilla ice cream. He was most impressed that we could just walk down the street from our house (or even on the way home from school) to get there. Unfortunately, he was disappointed that the shop was closed for the season.

Dan "Big Dan," "Spoon" Wagner

12-12-1976

11-05-2013

Having known him well before his shift at Outback Steakhouse that earned his iconic nickname, I knew him as Dan. He may have been the baby of his family, but I saw him as my Big Brother. He made a point to say Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, Happy Mother's Day, and just, "How are you?" He was always there for me: befriending my awkward freshman self in the high school cafeteria; looking out for me when I needed a big brother to keep a watchful eye on me; finding smiles and even laughter when they were shrouded by a broken heart or overwhelmed by final exams. He had a subtle way of letting me know if he supported a decision I made - his opinion was clear, but he let me choose my own path. Regardless, he was there for me no matter what happened along the way.





There were countless times Dan made me laugh until I cried. Now, I cry until I laugh because all the memories that have been flooding back to me are rooted in good times.  I can't help but smile when I think about them: like when he found green shoes just to match my Homecoming dress or when he grudgingly agreed to speak at my wedding. The Dan I know wouldn't want to be cause for heartache and sorrow - he'd be on a mission to create laughter during moments of silence!





While I was growing up, Dan was one of the very few friends, not to mention boys, that my parents liked. He spoke with respect - not in an Eddie Haskell sort of way. He was easily trusted, honest, dependable, hard working, and true-to-heart from the moment you met him. Long after high school graduation, when the miles grew between us,and when other friendships drifted apart, my parents continued to ask how Dan was doing and if any visits were planned.

Though I know him as Dan, and as my Big Brother, the more I think about it, the nickname "Spoon" fit him well. 

He knew just how to scoop you up when you were feeling down. He had a gift for comforting and compassion, always kind and considerate. While Dan made everyone feel like part of his family, he gently carried those he loved close to his heart.

He had a sharp wit and a quick sense of humor that could brighten anyone's day, there was nothing cutting about his personality. There was nothing piercing, dangerous, or scary about being close to Dan. When Dan was around, I was more than safe - I was protected, taken care of, and, no matter what was going on, I knew things were going to be okay.







Dan was not a flashy guy. Platinum and gold are too brazen for him. But man, did he shine! He had a sparkle in his eye that said, "I'm here to have a good time!" Fun with Dan had no age limits: he brought out the light hearted child in all of us. He always had a bright outlook and could put a positive spin on any situation. While jeans and a t-shirt were his preferred attire, he was a refined gentleman who reflected a polished upbringing: manners, charisma, and an incredible charm.

Dan
My Big Brother
My Silver Spoon
A treasure I'll always carry in my heart.

Obituary

Daniel Ryan “Spoon” Wagner, age 36, of Belleville, born December 12, 1976 to Donald “Red” and Linda, nee Missey, Wagner, died unexpectedly on Tuesday, November 5, 2013.

“Spoon” was employed as a title researcher for RedVision Title Co., and worked at the county courthouse. He also was a cook at Outback Steakhouse. He grew up in Shiloh and graduated from OTHS in 1995.

He was the youngest of 8 children, spoiled by his older siblings. He was a big kid who still loved his Legos, super-heroes comic books, fantasy football, zombie runs, and the hit-tv shows “Duck Dynasty” and “Big Bang Theory.” He was a loyal New England Patriots fan; he enjoyed grilling, mud runs, and being with his friends and listening to music. Spoon was an honest and dependable friend, a loving son and brother, a crazy fun uncle, and a good friend. His sudden loss will be felt by his family, friends, and co-workers.

Dan was preceded in death by his father, Donald J. “Red” Wagner; and his brother, Dean Wagner.

Surviving are his mother Linda Wagner of Shiloh, siblings Curtis (Vicky), Karen, Cindy Barnett, Doug, Bonnie, and Kerry; his girlfriend whom he loved dearly and who thought the world of him, Tiffany Folk, and her daughter Bella; nieces and nephews, Rhianon, Sara, Sean, Travis, Joliene, Diana, Deanne, Adam, Alex, and Grace.

Memorial donations are suggested to American Diabetes Association.

Visitation: Friends may call from 4:00 – 8:00 p.m., Friday, November 8, 2013, and after 10:00 a.m., Saturday, November 9, 2013 at the funeral home.

Funeral: 11:00 a.m., Saturday, November 9, 2013, at Wolfersberger Funeral Home, 102 W. Washington St., O’Fallon, with Rev. James Deiters officiating.

Burial at Mount Calvary Catholic Cemetery, Shiloh, Ill.

I found this posted by one of his sisters explaining what happened:
He had a cold that developed into pneumonia...fluid in his lungs complicated by his diabetes...when they tried to put him on a ventilator he went into cardiac arrest...he was revived but arrested again 90 min later...his condition deteriorated after that and passed away about 520 pm.

London Bridge is falling down

At dinner, Shawn was suddenly overcome with concern.

Shawn: I hope Zibby stays safe in her new home and doesn't fall in the water!
Me: I think she's really enjoying her new home [in England]. Why would she fall into water?
Shawn: Because of the bridge!
Me: ???
Shawn: The one that keeps falling down!
Me: [palm-face]

It took an extensive conversation for me to convince him that the London Bridge is not a danger to his good friend.

(On a side note, I'm pretty proud that my 4 yr old knows that London is in England!)

Shawn's Halloween Salute

We're donating some of our Halloween candy to the troops. I was tempted to sort through Shawn's stash 'for him' when he wasn't around just to avoid the stress of parting with the treats. (Honestly, there's no reason for 1 child to have this much!!) But, I decided to involve him in it instead. I'm so glad I did! He carefully divided his loot, giving away not just the kind he doesn't like, but divvying up the candy he enjoys, too. He was really excited about giving candy to soldiers! (And there's still more than enough for Raj and me to 'share' with him!)

I love when kids surprise us! Such a big, patriotic heart.

Lilly loves food (4)

...but not peas.

Mom's copilots

Lilly's 6 month wellness checkup

Head size

Height vs Age

Height: 26.25 inches (74%ile)

Weight: 14.88 pounds (32%ile)

Head Circumference: 16.75 inches (67%ile)

Temperature: 96.7°F

Pulse Rate: 116 beats/minute

Respiration Rate: 26 breaths/minute

Milestones

Lilly can roll from her back to her front & from her front to her back. (She's not mobile yet, but soon!) She reaches / rakes for things she wants, moves things from one hand to the other, and brings things (EVERYTHING) to her mouth. 

Lilly smiles and laughs and even "talks" and "sings." (When she's trying to go to sleep, she often sings or hums herself a lullaby until she drifts off!) She is drooling a LOT and showing possible early signs of teething.

Lilly's pretty interested in food. She loves oatmeal and sucking on apples and peaches the most.

Lilly loves to stand and bounce.

She tracks with her eyes & moves her head up /down / left / right to follow an object. 

She enjoys playing peek-a-boo, "hole in the road," laying down and watching a parachute or blankets go up / down / spin over her, looking in mirrors, and grabbing at bubbles.

Since she's beginning to sit unassisted, we can start introducing meat and small bits of table food (start to move away from purees). Dr. Lin also suggested introducing a sippy cup of water.

No dairy or honey, but other allergen foods are ok to try now. (They no longer recommend holding off on the common allergy foods as long as they did when Shawn was at this stage.)

We are slowly working on baby signs, when we remember to use them! Lilly gets very excited when we show her "all done" after meals, but she hasn't produced any signs of her own yet (that we've recognized).

She's developed small, spotty red marks on the back of her neck / base of her head. Sometimes they are bright, while other times they've practically vanished. Dr. Lin said they're just "Stork bites" and they're birthmarks that'll go away on their own. (I didn't realize children could develop birthmarks months AFTER birth!)

Lilly's sleeping approximately a total of 16 hrs a day including 1-3 naps. She still wakes to nurse at night, but goes back to sleep easily. I co-sleep with her, so neither of us need to wake fully in the night. Many times, I'm able to spend the first part of the night in my own bed and go to hers for the last few hours. It works so well for the whole family! I don't feel like the walking zombie I was when Shawn was little!

Lilly has an internal clock that Raj has, but Shawn & I do not. It's amazing how much easier life is with this ingrained!  In spite of my lifelong struggles with time management, she has a very predictable schedule. In general, she wakes around 8 am, naps around 10 am... hungry at 5:00 pm, sleep around 7 pm. It has a little variation and she adapts well when things throw off her routine. I carry a Moby Wrap baby carrier with us wherever we go. If she needs to nap, she snuggles in the wrap and there's no need to rush back home.

She is nursing well, on demand

Vaccines

Pediarix (DTaP-HepB-IPV)

HEMOPHILUS INFLUENZA B (she has to go back in 1 month for a 2nd dose) PNEUMOCOCCAL CONJ VACCINE (PREVNAR) ROTAVIRUS VACCINE (oral drops)

Lilly loved the oral vaccine (she was pretty hungry during her appointment), but her face turned bright red as she cried and screamed about the shots. She recovered almost immediately when I nursed her. She even drifted off to sleep for a few minutes, but boy, was she chatty on the drive home!

Luckily, she didn't seem to be bothered by the shots, longer than their initial pokes. Perhaps she was a little tired from crying, but her legs didn't seem sore like they were after her 4 month vaccines. She didn't show a fever, cold symptoms, irritability, or any of the other typical side effects of shots. Phew!

Later that evening, the kids and I had an early dinner and went to the Wood Dale Public Library for a Halloween Harvest Magic Show.

"Get your little ghosts and goblins laughing and applauding with a magic show created especially to help celebrate Halloween at library family events. You will enjoy cool Halloween magic tricks, hilarious comedy and spooktacular audience participation."

The magician was fun and silly. Shawn was really disappointed that he wasn't chosen to assist in any of the tricks, but he understood that not everyone got a turn this time and that his luck may be different next time.

I'm ready for bed!