Dan "Big Dan," "Spoon" Wagner

12-12-1976

11-05-2013

Having known him well before his shift at Outback Steakhouse that earned his iconic nickname, I knew him as Dan. He may have been the baby of his family, but I saw him as my Big Brother. He made a point to say Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, Happy Mother's Day, and just, "How are you?" He was always there for me: befriending my awkward freshman self in the high school cafeteria; looking out for me when I needed a big brother to keep a watchful eye on me; finding smiles and even laughter when they were shrouded by a broken heart or overwhelmed by final exams. He had a subtle way of letting me know if he supported a decision I made - his opinion was clear, but he let me choose my own path. Regardless, he was there for me no matter what happened along the way.





There were countless times Dan made me laugh until I cried. Now, I cry until I laugh because all the memories that have been flooding back to me are rooted in good times.  I can't help but smile when I think about them: like when he found green shoes just to match my Homecoming dress or when he grudgingly agreed to speak at my wedding. The Dan I know wouldn't want to be cause for heartache and sorrow - he'd be on a mission to create laughter during moments of silence!





While I was growing up, Dan was one of the very few friends, not to mention boys, that my parents liked. He spoke with respect - not in an Eddie Haskell sort of way. He was easily trusted, honest, dependable, hard working, and true-to-heart from the moment you met him. Long after high school graduation, when the miles grew between us,and when other friendships drifted apart, my parents continued to ask how Dan was doing and if any visits were planned.

Though I know him as Dan, and as my Big Brother, the more I think about it, the nickname "Spoon" fit him well. 

He knew just how to scoop you up when you were feeling down. He had a gift for comforting and compassion, always kind and considerate. While Dan made everyone feel like part of his family, he gently carried those he loved close to his heart.

He had a sharp wit and a quick sense of humor that could brighten anyone's day, there was nothing cutting about his personality. There was nothing piercing, dangerous, or scary about being close to Dan. When Dan was around, I was more than safe - I was protected, taken care of, and, no matter what was going on, I knew things were going to be okay.







Dan was not a flashy guy. Platinum and gold are too brazen for him. But man, did he shine! He had a sparkle in his eye that said, "I'm here to have a good time!" Fun with Dan had no age limits: he brought out the light hearted child in all of us. He always had a bright outlook and could put a positive spin on any situation. While jeans and a t-shirt were his preferred attire, he was a refined gentleman who reflected a polished upbringing: manners, charisma, and an incredible charm.

Dan
My Big Brother
My Silver Spoon
A treasure I'll always carry in my heart.

Obituary

Daniel Ryan “Spoon” Wagner, age 36, of Belleville, born December 12, 1976 to Donald “Red” and Linda, nee Missey, Wagner, died unexpectedly on Tuesday, November 5, 2013.

“Spoon” was employed as a title researcher for RedVision Title Co., and worked at the county courthouse. He also was a cook at Outback Steakhouse. He grew up in Shiloh and graduated from OTHS in 1995.

He was the youngest of 8 children, spoiled by his older siblings. He was a big kid who still loved his Legos, super-heroes comic books, fantasy football, zombie runs, and the hit-tv shows “Duck Dynasty” and “Big Bang Theory.” He was a loyal New England Patriots fan; he enjoyed grilling, mud runs, and being with his friends and listening to music. Spoon was an honest and dependable friend, a loving son and brother, a crazy fun uncle, and a good friend. His sudden loss will be felt by his family, friends, and co-workers.

Dan was preceded in death by his father, Donald J. “Red” Wagner; and his brother, Dean Wagner.

Surviving are his mother Linda Wagner of Shiloh, siblings Curtis (Vicky), Karen, Cindy Barnett, Doug, Bonnie, and Kerry; his girlfriend whom he loved dearly and who thought the world of him, Tiffany Folk, and her daughter Bella; nieces and nephews, Rhianon, Sara, Sean, Travis, Joliene, Diana, Deanne, Adam, Alex, and Grace.

Memorial donations are suggested to American Diabetes Association.

Visitation: Friends may call from 4:00 – 8:00 p.m., Friday, November 8, 2013, and after 10:00 a.m., Saturday, November 9, 2013 at the funeral home.

Funeral: 11:00 a.m., Saturday, November 9, 2013, at Wolfersberger Funeral Home, 102 W. Washington St., O’Fallon, with Rev. James Deiters officiating.

Burial at Mount Calvary Catholic Cemetery, Shiloh, Ill.

I found this posted by one of his sisters explaining what happened:
He had a cold that developed into pneumonia...fluid in his lungs complicated by his diabetes...when they tried to put him on a ventilator he went into cardiac arrest...he was revived but arrested again 90 min later...his condition deteriorated after that and passed away about 520 pm.